Si Cristine Reyes ay isang kilalang aktres sa industriya ng showbiz. Maraming netizens ang humahanga sa kanya dahil sa angking galing sa pag-arte at sa kanyang ganda. Ngunit sa kabila ng halos perpekto niyang buhay ay marami palang masasakit na pinagdaanan ang aktres.

Sa edad na anim na taong gulang, naramdaman na ni Cristine na siya ay isang ‘unwanted child” ng kanyang ina. Palagi umanong sinasabi sa kanya na hindi siya gusto nito at hindi na sana siya nabuhay pa. Ang karanasang ito ay nagdulot ng trauma sa kanyang buhay na dinala niya hanggang sa pagtanda.

“I was told almost every night that I was unwanted.”

Sa podcast ni Liza Florida na Eight Billion Project, ibinahagi niya ang kanyang karanasan noong bata pa at kung paano niya nalamang siya ay isang adopted child.

Ang itinuring nyang magulang na sina “Daddy Metring at Mommy Shirley” ay inamin sa kanya noong anim na taong gulang pa lamang siya na siya ay hindi nila totoong anak. Noong araw din na iyon ay dumating ang kanyang tunay na ina at kinuha siya nito.

“So they sat me down, my Daddy Metring said… actually, it’s not him. It’s his wife Mommy Shirley.”

“They told me, ‘You’re not our real child,’ I was shocked. I don’t even remember if I said something. I think I was in a state shock.”

“They said, ‘Your real mom is on the way here.’”

“The next thing I remember, there’s a lady entering the house. It was the first time I met her in my memory.”

“I remember my mom pulling me out. I was holding my Daddy Metring tightly. In my head, ‘Don’t let me go! Don’t let me go!’ I was crying.”

Hindi pa daw makapaniwala noon ang batang si Cristine sa pangyayari, nakakabigla umano ito para sa kanya at tanging pag-iyak lamang ang kanyang nagawa noong nasa kotse na sila ng kanyang ina.

“I still remember her driving. She said, ‘You have to forget about them. They’re not your family. I’m your mom.’”

“So, I’m just quiet… I don’t know her.”

Pagdating umano sa bahay ng kanyang ina, naaalala niyang malaki ang bahay nito na may limang malalaking kwarto, at may napakalaking garahe na kasya ang 10 hanggang 12 kotse. Malayo umano sa simpleng bahay na kanyang kinalakihan sa kanyang Daddy Metring.

Sa kabila ng pagkakaroon ng malaking bahay, hindi umano naramdaman ni Cristine na welcome siya sa bahay na iyon. Ipinaparamdam umano sa kanya na hindi siya karapat-dapat sa bahay na iyon kaya nagtataka siya at nalulungkot kung bakit pa siya kinuha sa kanyang Daddy Metring.

“It wasn’t a very welcome for me. I think I don’t belong here.”

“Ever since I moved to my biological mom, I felt that I didn’t have a voice. As much as possible, I don’t really talk.”

Napagtanto ni Cristine na walang kakayahan ang kanyang ina na palakihin at alagaan silang anim na magkakapatid. Maaaring hindi daw ito mentally at emotionally prepared noon kaya sa kanya nabunton ang galit nito.

“I was very neglected at six years old. I remember whenever there’s a problem, I would constantly hear words, ‘You know, you should have died. You never should have been born.”

“‘I tried so many times to abort you. You’re just something else. Your grip was there. You should have died.’”

Dagdag niya pa, “It was so painful. I grew up hearing that all the time.”

“I came from a very loving family, a happy environment. And then all of a sudden, my life changed.”

“What is this? I had to survive. I was always at survival mode at [the age of] six.”

Dahil lumaki siyang unwanted at hindi nakaramdam ng pagmamahal ng isang ina, nagdulot ito ng pagka-inggit ni Cristine sa ibang bata na nakikita niyang may mapagmahal na nanay.

“Even in school, whenever I see my classmates with their mom in school, ‘Oh, why is the kid with her mom?’ I see the mom taking good care of her child.”

“I would have evil eyes. I’m so jealous. ‘Why does she have that and I don’t have it?’”

“I carried it in my career in the showbiz industry. They have their moms taking care of them. They have someone protect them in the business industry.”

“No, my daughter has to rest.’ I didn’t have that. I have to work until the morning.”

Ngunit sa pagtanda ni Cristine napagtanto niyang hindi tama na magkaroon siya ng galit para sa kanyang ina at inggit para sa ibang tao. Lalo na at isa na siyang ina ngayon, gusto niyang maging magandang halimbawa sa kanyang anak at mapalaki ito ng maayos kaya dapat ay ayusin niya rin ang kanyang sarili.

Sumailalaim si Cristine sa isang self-growth seminar o retreat sa U.S noong nagbakasyon siya. Naging malaking tulong umano ito sa magandang pagbabago sa kanyang sarili.

“Now, I’m realizing you can speak up. I can stand up for myself. I’m already 32 and I still have that in me wherein I can’t speak my mind. I can say no if I don’t want to.”

“I wanna work on self-care. Yeah, I have this past. Yeah, I have a bad childhood. But you can always make a difference. You don’t have to carry it.”

Sa ngayon ay masaya si Cristine sa kanyang buhay at sa wakas ay napalaya niya na ang kanyang sarili sa masakit na nakaraan, at mas sigurado na sya ngayon na mahaharap nya ang kanyang hinaharap ng mas maayos.